Out of Sight, Out of Mind!

Sitting here thinking about where I am in my life right now almost brings a tear to an eye. I'm now 22 years old with a bunch of goals but no set plan in order to put them into action. Almost three years ago I participated in a business that I felt whole heartily would bring me into wealth & success during the course of the next 5-10 years. Long story short; that wasn't the case. I ended up the most broke I have ever been in my entire life. Going a whole day sometimes two, on one meal or sharing scraps amongst people that were in my same predicament. A hard lesson learned but a lesson nonetheless. I learned a lot about myself during that time span. I learned that I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I learned how to educate myself about Leadership, Self-Discipline, & Relationships. Most of all I learned not to lid myself & my potential. Though times were at that moment in my life insanely difficult, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I believe that your past thoughts & experiences mold you to become what you are today and though it can be confusing at times with what you're trying to do with your life. Eventually if you allow yourself to be open to new opportunities both professional & personal your whole life can change. As did mine, I'm still learning & growing myself & I plan to continue until the day that I die. I know that great things are ahead in my future, even if I may be oblivious to what the future may bring. One thing is for certain is that I'm allowing myself the opportunity in order to face those challenges head on.

With that said thanks for taking the time & viewing some of my thoughts. Feel free to leave any feedback! ;-)

Finally (My 1st Poem)

Against all odds; I keep my head up.
With all the drama and nonsense that is, I'm fed up.
Instead of me succumb to the evils that arise in my life.
I strive to manifest the destiny set upon me by Christ.
For I know not one soul that you have not blessed.
It's simply upon those who regrettably have not seen it yet.
Lord you haven't forgotten about anyone, you never left.
Forgive them father for they haven't seen it yet.
People seem to be so caught up in their own lives, yet you still keep them abreast.
Once again my dear Lord forgive them, for they have not seen it yet.
It took me nineteen years to realize.
Nineteen years to believe.
It was then as well as now that I finally see. Not all are as fortunate as myself to even want to believe.
Your love is everlasting, you're the reason why we breathe.
Finally now I know, you haven't left.
Forgive them Father, for they have not seen it yet.

Public Service Announcement

I've come to the realization that the opposite sex isn't that hard to understand. Although everyone is different in their own unique way. We all still happen to want the same things. At the end of the day everyone wants to be happy! Happiness just so happens to come in different forms for different people. Some people are happy just by being around the person they have so many feelings for. Others are happiest knowing that their partner can provide for them. Some want companionship, a lover, or just a friend. The real question is determining what it is that "you" yourself wants. I've been through my share of relationships. I'm not implying that I am some type of relationship expert, but what I did take away from every experience was a higher understanding of myself. I've learned what relationships are worth pursuing & which ones to not even bother a second glance at. Men & women are all greatly similar. Everyone wants that person that helps them grow & become a better person. Someone to push them when they need that push, & that same someone to be able to vibe with during those chill moments. So the next time you're out there stressing out about relationships or why you haven't found that "It" person. Take that time to take a closer look at yourself. Figure out what you want because there's nothing more attractive than self-assurance. When you begin to understand what you want out of life, a relationship, a career, etc. You acquire this inner confidence that eventually changes the way you do everything. From the way you walk, dress, & communicate with people. Which at that time will open up many doors for you both relationship & other life choices. You just have to find your swagger & then instead of searching for it (whatever it may be to you) it'll find you.

Another Familiar Road

I pull up to the curb with a confused look on my face. "I swear I've been here before". You know that same place back in high school? That area of trying to figure out where to go & what to do? It's five minutes to 5am & I think my clearest now as when I did then (in the peak hours of the morning). Past choices and decisions have gotten me to where I am today. It will make no sense to look back now and try to formulate a conclusion if the decisions then, are the best decisions now? As opposed to counting my losses. I choose to roll with the punches of life. Your past experiences mold you into the person you are today. I believe it's best to look ahead to the future possibilities of life. Yet still I'm confused to what my next move should be? At the end of the day it all boils down to learning what it is that I really want out of this life. I'm a man with big goals & an even bigger imagination so in the end only time will tell. Therefore as soon as I have an answer you'll be the 1st to know. Until then I continue to drive down this familiar road yet again.

What Makes A Man?

The ability to do for his woman in and out of the bedroom. A man is someone that does what's needed to be done. A man is someone that treats his woman with respect & courtesy every time they're together. A man is someone that not only respects his woman but every woman he encounters. A man is about his money, his education, and most of all his family. So why is that women continue to surround themselves with the exact opposite of these men, that is said that all these sistaz want? "Little boys"; these are the so-called men who talk about it, but in all actuality aren't about it...Little boys are the dudes that you always see in the street that are trying to holler at these beautiful real women out of car windows that won't give them the time of day. Little boys are those dudes that would rather go for the quick buck, that's fast and easy as suppose to putting up the effort and energy into the real money that would make your average nickle & dime corner hustler look like a cab driver. A little boy is the kind of guy that would rather spend his last twenty dollars on a night at the club instead of use it to put food in his fridge for the next couple of days. A little boy is one of those dudes that all though he may already have one of the few down to earth real women that are still out there. Still continues to chase after those fast, easy to get them panties kind of girls. Causing these few real women that are left to become bitter and never want to open up to another man again, afraid of the chance that the next guy will hurt them just as bad as the one before them had. Then you have those middle men, the young men that are trying to cross the border of boyhood into manhood before it's too late. The guys that have chased their share of the easy fuck kind of girls, the ones that have wifey already and are trying their hardest to stay true to her, satisfy her every need & wish and treat her like the queen she is, and the guys who wants wifey, a real woman but can't have her because she's either cold & bitter and wants part of no man, or is stuck on the little-ass-boy's weak "G" so much to see that she can do & deserves better than what she has. These middle men are the ones that are overlooked. These are the men that are trying their hardest to become real men and are putting the effort into it, but have still yet to reach it yet. What more can I say except some people mature faster than others, and others just never fully and completely do at all. Only time will tell, as far as now nice guys finish last.

1,000 Apologies

To have loved & lost is an understatement.
In my internal experience of the searching of my soul.
I have loved, lost, gained, misplaced, & found again.
In my mind as in yours our hearts are forever intertwined.
A thousand apologies I've offered you,
a hundred heart breaks I've been responsible for, a million tears cried.
You mean so much to me my love.

With everything that I've put you through, I don't deserve you.
For there is no doubt in my heart that you are my soulmate.
The question that rest in my mind, is am I your's.

The fear of returning to you and losing you forever is what plauges my mind.
In my journey to find the contentment in the deep depths of my being.
The one face that I constantly come across is yours.
For it is your face that kept me sane,
your face that I see when I close my eyes at night,
and your face that I want to see evey time I open them.

For every tear that I'm responsible for, I now dry.
For every piece of a heart broken I collect, I now put back together.

Sorry isn't enough, you deserve more than that.
Every rose you want, I offer you a garden.
Every walk on the beach, I offer you an island.
Every star you see, I offer you the moon.
Every spectacular moment shared, I'll contain it so we can always go back and reflect on those moments at any time.

With this my love, I offer you 1,000 apologies.
What it is that you decide to do with them rest on you.